Author's Note: This is my response to "A Perfect Day for Bananafish". I've been doing a lot of poems lately because I frankly don't think that my poetry is very good and so I've been trying to practice it. This piece is about how war changes people and you can never go back.
Bullets fly
Shells explode
Mouths open in screams
without
sound
Eyes fixed
only
Upon the charred
bloody, body
Knowing nobody will
grieve
over this
young person
No one
will ever
care
about the lives
changed by
war
At first always
eager to
fight
eager to
please
eager to
die
Always remembering
Eternally forgetting
As the bus rolls to
a stop
and my eyes
open.
That's a pretty poem there. I like how you include Salinger's mindset about how we can't return to innocence after war. Your poem might have some more emphasis if you were to put commas or semicolons after stanzas or in them, but other than that suggestion I love this poem completely.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting response, Derek. I think I have to disagree with you on one part though. Everyday people may not feel the pain of a person who died at battle because simply the person had no relationship with that victim, however, some where, there might be his family who is grieving over their loss. you did a great job combining action with some sadness though. Great poem.
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting how you contradicted yourself in your poetry. Also how it brought war to real life, and how war changes people. I really liked this poem.
ReplyDeleteGood poem. You kinda get lost in it until the end at which point feel as startled as the main character did when the bus arrives.
ReplyDelete