Monday, November 16, 2009

Ocean

Author's Note: The ocean isn't really like this but sometimes I think it is.

I see the huge storm waves pound the cliff, trying to break down its very will to live. The dark sky looms overhead, and I can hear the rythmic pounding of the waves and the whistling of the wind. The wind feels like it's cutting me to shreds. The waves never stop beating the shore. The cold spray stings my eyes. The wind whips, the waves pound, the skies are gray. Mother Nature just declared war.

4 comments:

  1. Wow Derek, that's really good. I can really put myself there! I bet you could do that with another place, too!

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  2. I really liked this when you read it out loud to the class, and it suprised me of how old you sound!

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  3. This was really good, and I liked how at the end you said that "Mother Nature just declared war". I'm not sure if this sounds right or anything but some of the sentences are kind of short, so maybe you could use some commas or semicolons next time.

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